Post by Zhou Yu on Nov 3, 2009 1:22:11 GMT
Zhou Yu had left Shou Chun under the command of Zhuge Cheng while he traveled east toward the coast. With him were 10 hardened marines, some of Wu's finest on loan from Quan himself. The young ruler certainly did not want his top strategist dying before he could unify the land and he would probably be angered by Zhou Yu leaving his command.
The men traveled on horseback for a long time, but finally they could see some huts in the distance. Beyond the small structures was a much larger one and it looked to be a dock. Zhou Yu pulled the reins of his steed and halted the men.
"Let us question these locals about what we seek" he said, turning his horse to face the soldiers. They nodded and all moved out together toward the small huts.
Zhou Yu dismounted from his horse and approached an old woman who looked to be either dead or sleeping. She was propped up in an old chair and only came to when a twig snapped under Yu's foot.
"Eek!"
She screeched when seeing the armed soldiers accompanying Zhou Yu and also noticed the blade at his waist.
"Easy, old woman, I seek some information and that is all."
He waved his men away and they moved back toward the horses. Grabbing the steeds, they moved further away into a clearing where they could relax or train.
"Are there any fishermen around that I could speak with?"
The old woman sat totally still, with no facial expression, for a minute before raising her hand and pointing towards the other hut. Smoke was rising from the hut and it smelled of burning fish, just what Zhou Yu was looking for. Well, not exactly.
Swords clashed and horses neighed as the Wu marines sparred in the field. At least two or three were constantly watching their leader and what became of his meetings. Even an old lady could be hiding a knife under one of her saggy breasts. It is not that Zhou Yu could not best a crippled old lady, but it would be a close fight.
Zhou Yu walked toward the other hut and noticed a well worn trail leading up toward what looked to be a more populated area. His eyes scanned to the left and the right, but no one could be seen. Then, voices could be heard coming from the docks.
"Nizzza! Good catch Dong!"
A fisherman smacked his skinny friend, Dong, on the back and almost knocked him over. Dong blamed it on a rock that was on the ground, saying that he tripped instead. His friend, the aggressor, was another scrawny man named Harry. Neither one of them looked like they could fight their way out of a wet paper bag, but that mattered little. Zhou Yu was at the shore to gather a few items that they could probably help him with.
"Gentlemen, may I ask a few questions?"
"I am Zhou Yu, Grand Strategist to the great Sun Quan of Wu. I am seeking whale oil, in particular, but also that of normal fish as well" he stated, eloquently as usual.
Unfortunately, his new friends could not take such a high rank seriously as they were still laughing from being called gentlemen.
"Gentlemen? Where are they at?"
Both men laughed a good laugh and then put down their fresh catch on a table. They told Zhou Yu of Japanese traders who usually come by a few times per month with fresh whale oil. The fisherman on the coast could gather some themselves, but they were more into normal hunting.
"You have to be a specialist to hunt whales and well........we bunch are pretty dumb" Dong said, looking to Harry who was nodding as well.
Harry then had a good idea and Zhou Yu knew it because Harry said that he had a good idea.
"I have a good idea! We just so happen to have plenty whale and fish oils, but we need you to do something for us in return."
Dong and Harry told Zhou Yu about a group of pirates that constantly harrassed them every day. They would come down from the local tavern, stinking drunk, and beat up the two of them as well as steal their catch. The two lived in two broken down huts because they could not keep enough catch to sell and make money. Not only that, Harry's mom was not the best security as Zhou Yu already experienced so that did not help their stolen fish problem.
"Well, what is it" he asked, wondering what the two wanted of him.
After a brief discussion, Zhou Yu nodded to the two men and started back toward his marines. The soldiers were anxious to leave and get back to Shou Chun, but their leader needed their assistance. After another brief discussion, the soldiers all nodded and moved toward the huts.
A short time passed as ten men dug rapidly into the earth. There would have been eleven, but Zhou Yu was sitting and enjoying tea with Dong as well as Harry. One of the fishermen got up and moved toward a covered stash of some sort. He unveiled the supply and there were barrels of oil present. Zhou Yu knew they were barrels of oil because they said barrels of oil right on the side.
"Excellent" he exclaimed, lifting his cup of tea to the heavens.
Another hour passed and soon enough the drunkards exited the tavern. They were already fighting one another and pushing around some of the villagers. One of them grabbed an old man's hat, spat in it, and then put it back on his head.
"Did you see the two friends she had with her? Oh yeah!"
"I did not see any other girls with her....." one of the pirates said, thinking back to when he was a bit less drunk.
"No, you idiot........her friends" the other pirate said, gesturing with his hands around the chest area. He then smacked his comrade on the back of the head and all of the others started to laugh at what a dumb sh*t their pal was. There were six pirate in total.
They traveled down toward the huts of Dong, Harry, and Harry's mom. It was time for an as* whooping, pirate style, and then they would feast on fresh fish.
"I am going to grab Dong's skinny neck and snap it!"
"Yeah, I am going to....... what the...." another pirate started, but stopped due to someone sitting in the path ahead. It was not Dong or Harry, but another individual who they did not know. The man was wearing expensive looking armor and sipping on some heated tea.
The pirates all started to laugh and began to walk their normal path toward the huts. Zhou Yu was sitting outside one of the huts in the center of the path, sipping his tea. Flanking the pirates, on both sides of the path, were some scattered trees as well as medium height grass.
"Well, well, WELL" one of the pirates yelled as he fell into a hole.
"What the hell? What is going on?"
The pirates were yelling and confused, and drunk, but they would be splashed with water to help them wake up. Or, instead a close substitute in the form of urine from Dong and Harry. The two were dancing and urinating, if that is possible, and they loved it.
Zhou Yu and his marines surrounded the pit and then he ordered them to douse the pirates with fish oil. Not only did it smell, really bad, but it was flammable. Zhou Yu then took a lit torch from Harry's mom, who almost fell in with it, and he threatened the pirates with a firey death.
"We swear to never harrass those two scrawny, I mean, great guys again!"
It seemed genuine enough to Zhou Yu, though he really did not care that much. He now had his whale oil and some people of eastern Shou Chun were happy, saved, avenged.
Unfortunately, Zhou Yu dropped the torch before leaving and Harry's mom happened to be nearby with a grin on her face. The old woman let one rip, a big thunderous fart, and it sent a fireball into the pit setting the pirates ablaze!
The smelly pirates are dead!
THE END
The men traveled on horseback for a long time, but finally they could see some huts in the distance. Beyond the small structures was a much larger one and it looked to be a dock. Zhou Yu pulled the reins of his steed and halted the men.
"Let us question these locals about what we seek" he said, turning his horse to face the soldiers. They nodded and all moved out together toward the small huts.
Zhou Yu dismounted from his horse and approached an old woman who looked to be either dead or sleeping. She was propped up in an old chair and only came to when a twig snapped under Yu's foot.
"Eek!"
She screeched when seeing the armed soldiers accompanying Zhou Yu and also noticed the blade at his waist.
"Easy, old woman, I seek some information and that is all."
He waved his men away and they moved back toward the horses. Grabbing the steeds, they moved further away into a clearing where they could relax or train.
"Are there any fishermen around that I could speak with?"
The old woman sat totally still, with no facial expression, for a minute before raising her hand and pointing towards the other hut. Smoke was rising from the hut and it smelled of burning fish, just what Zhou Yu was looking for. Well, not exactly.
Swords clashed and horses neighed as the Wu marines sparred in the field. At least two or three were constantly watching their leader and what became of his meetings. Even an old lady could be hiding a knife under one of her saggy breasts. It is not that Zhou Yu could not best a crippled old lady, but it would be a close fight.
Zhou Yu walked toward the other hut and noticed a well worn trail leading up toward what looked to be a more populated area. His eyes scanned to the left and the right, but no one could be seen. Then, voices could be heard coming from the docks.
"Nizzza! Good catch Dong!"
A fisherman smacked his skinny friend, Dong, on the back and almost knocked him over. Dong blamed it on a rock that was on the ground, saying that he tripped instead. His friend, the aggressor, was another scrawny man named Harry. Neither one of them looked like they could fight their way out of a wet paper bag, but that mattered little. Zhou Yu was at the shore to gather a few items that they could probably help him with.
"Gentlemen, may I ask a few questions?"
"I am Zhou Yu, Grand Strategist to the great Sun Quan of Wu. I am seeking whale oil, in particular, but also that of normal fish as well" he stated, eloquently as usual.
Unfortunately, his new friends could not take such a high rank seriously as they were still laughing from being called gentlemen.
"Gentlemen? Where are they at?"
Both men laughed a good laugh and then put down their fresh catch on a table. They told Zhou Yu of Japanese traders who usually come by a few times per month with fresh whale oil. The fisherman on the coast could gather some themselves, but they were more into normal hunting.
"You have to be a specialist to hunt whales and well........we bunch are pretty dumb" Dong said, looking to Harry who was nodding as well.
Harry then had a good idea and Zhou Yu knew it because Harry said that he had a good idea.
"I have a good idea! We just so happen to have plenty whale and fish oils, but we need you to do something for us in return."
Dong and Harry told Zhou Yu about a group of pirates that constantly harrassed them every day. They would come down from the local tavern, stinking drunk, and beat up the two of them as well as steal their catch. The two lived in two broken down huts because they could not keep enough catch to sell and make money. Not only that, Harry's mom was not the best security as Zhou Yu already experienced so that did not help their stolen fish problem.
"Well, what is it" he asked, wondering what the two wanted of him.
After a brief discussion, Zhou Yu nodded to the two men and started back toward his marines. The soldiers were anxious to leave and get back to Shou Chun, but their leader needed their assistance. After another brief discussion, the soldiers all nodded and moved toward the huts.
A short time passed as ten men dug rapidly into the earth. There would have been eleven, but Zhou Yu was sitting and enjoying tea with Dong as well as Harry. One of the fishermen got up and moved toward a covered stash of some sort. He unveiled the supply and there were barrels of oil present. Zhou Yu knew they were barrels of oil because they said barrels of oil right on the side.
"Excellent" he exclaimed, lifting his cup of tea to the heavens.
Another hour passed and soon enough the drunkards exited the tavern. They were already fighting one another and pushing around some of the villagers. One of them grabbed an old man's hat, spat in it, and then put it back on his head.
"Did you see the two friends she had with her? Oh yeah!"
"I did not see any other girls with her....." one of the pirates said, thinking back to when he was a bit less drunk.
"No, you idiot........her friends" the other pirate said, gesturing with his hands around the chest area. He then smacked his comrade on the back of the head and all of the others started to laugh at what a dumb sh*t their pal was. There were six pirate in total.
They traveled down toward the huts of Dong, Harry, and Harry's mom. It was time for an as* whooping, pirate style, and then they would feast on fresh fish.
"I am going to grab Dong's skinny neck and snap it!"
"Yeah, I am going to....... what the...." another pirate started, but stopped due to someone sitting in the path ahead. It was not Dong or Harry, but another individual who they did not know. The man was wearing expensive looking armor and sipping on some heated tea.
The pirates all started to laugh and began to walk their normal path toward the huts. Zhou Yu was sitting outside one of the huts in the center of the path, sipping his tea. Flanking the pirates, on both sides of the path, were some scattered trees as well as medium height grass.
"Well, well, WELL" one of the pirates yelled as he fell into a hole.
"What the hell? What is going on?"
The pirates were yelling and confused, and drunk, but they would be splashed with water to help them wake up. Or, instead a close substitute in the form of urine from Dong and Harry. The two were dancing and urinating, if that is possible, and they loved it.
Zhou Yu and his marines surrounded the pit and then he ordered them to douse the pirates with fish oil. Not only did it smell, really bad, but it was flammable. Zhou Yu then took a lit torch from Harry's mom, who almost fell in with it, and he threatened the pirates with a firey death.
"We swear to never harrass those two scrawny, I mean, great guys again!"
It seemed genuine enough to Zhou Yu, though he really did not care that much. He now had his whale oil and some people of eastern Shou Chun were happy, saved, avenged.
Unfortunately, Zhou Yu dropped the torch before leaving and Harry's mom happened to be nearby with a grin on her face. The old woman let one rip, a big thunderous fart, and it sent a fireball into the pit setting the pirates ablaze!
The smelly pirates are dead!
THE END
